This $100 dollar bill was not intentionally bisected. It accidentally fell apart in the auctioneer's pocket, because life, mistakes, and entropy happen to democrats, too.

This is actually not a lectern, but a historic dryer from the basement of the Livingston Hotel (built 1910). It was originally used to dry the clothing of patrons until the Sulphur Springs, Arkansas tourism economy took a nosedive. It rested there through the ages, belonging to a colony of religious doomsday preppers (Shiloh) and was used only for hiding drugs from police dogs in training. While Shiloh was preparing to sell the property, they grew weary of disposing of thousands of cans of expired nitrogen-packed doomsday food, a little at a time. I offered to remove the food from the property in exchange for the dryer, thinking it would be perfect to raise hogs with. This was about 10 years and a few failed relationships ago, and I never got around to raising hogs. It is not in working condition, but in my eyes, it resembles in both form and function Arkansas Governor Sarah Huckabee Sander's $19,000 lectern. That's what inspired me to use it as such, but I will part with it if it brings $19,000 dollars. I would like to see it bring $250,000, the amount of state aid granted to NWA disaster relief by our governor, also equivalent to 13.16 of her lecterns. All funds from this sale (and entire auction) will be donated to disaster relief in District 12 (it will be a nonprofit). Alice Walton, please purchase it and put it in your museum to symbolize the political absurdity and neighborly love typical of Arkansas for generations.

This trailer was sold to an Arkansan democrat auctioneer by an Arkansan republican auctioneer. Shortly after purchasing it, a wheel fell off of it. The republican auctioneer probably did not recognize any problems with the trailer to begin with, because republicans are honest and quick to expose inferiority. Now, the democrat auctioneer has owned the trailer for a few years, and hasn't made it a priority to fix it at all, meaning he probably didn't need to purchase it in the first place. This is a prime example of Arkansas politics. This trailer has a jacked up wheel, and needs minor light / wiring repair, according to an also honest democrat auctioneer. It has an Arkansas title and will sell to the highest bidder regardless of political affiliation. As always, if you're outbid, blame Arkansas democrats.

Both sides of the sign are in very rough condition, but it still exists. Whoever is artistic and talented enough to restore it will have something special.

concrete

There is less than $100 in this jar. Guess how much is there with your bids. Whichever bidder gets closest to the real amount of money in the jar will be the actual winner of this auction and will receive the jar and contents for free. If the "high" bid is *lower* than the real amount of money in the jar, the actual winner of this auction will receive double the amount of real money in the jar, at the auctioneer's expense. If the "high" bid is *higher* than the amount of real money in the jar, the real amount will be divided by the number of registered bidders on the jar and charged to their cards, while the actual winner of this auction will still retain the jar and real money, at no cost. If accidentally overcharged (that never happens) for this jar, the overcharged bidder will be entitled to a refund after they submit tangible, verifiable proof of the truth of being overcharged on the seventh day of the Blood Moon no later than thirteen o'clock, in cursive, and notarized by Honorable Judge Scott of Benton County.

Pom poms may be added later

The snakes in the grass are included in this lot.

Only one razorblade left in pack

Screws are missing, but if you're bidding on this you're probably used to it.

If any democrats read this, please do not consume bleach, holy water, or Everclear. Don't even think about mixing them together. Nobody needs to die over a bad joke.

Runs about as well as our country, meaning sometimes it starts, sometimes it doesn't, sometimes it stops while running.

Coin blank lobbyists, please bid accordingly.

Thermometers & Weather Station

Is the odoban half full, or half empty?

In case of tornado, D.U.C.K. (downstairs, to the lowest level of your home or business)

Introducing the BEAR CHILDRENS BOW, used but ahead of it's time back then when it was new. Will it be a hit in the future? May evolution favor the children of bearwomen. Invest in one here and now and give the gift of posterity to your children! Protect them from bears AND woodsmen with the BEARBOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

battery is low, will need replaced

Round-up is empty

Legendary meat cleaver

The violation has been remedied, was signed with a crayon, and is unnotarized by Honorable Judge John R. Scott. This is an investment opportunity.

If you bid on this, you will receive nothing.

some pieces are sterling

Tylenol is mostly empty

Use in broad daylight

unsigned by Mayor Flynn

also included are precision screwdrivers and a pearl

Remember, expanding our jails to house the poor isn't socialism= affordable housing is.

All proceeds from this item will not be donated to The Dyslexia Foundation, but to District 12 disaster relief.

Shovel has a small crack with fungi growing out of it, but is still very sturdy and useable.

The pearls clutched are fake, but it's a real half-dollar in her open mouth and an antique hardware book is thrown in as a bonus.

used once and cleaned

There are some cosmetic scuffs and scratches on stand, likely from futile overuse.

Banned in schools, courthouses, and airplanes, along with fingernail clippers.

perishables disposed of after photo

Laptops missing and unaccountable. I mean unaccounted for.

Hands need adjustment, needs a new battery

does not mount well in a 2014 Ford F-150

no power cord

no dies, uncertain if it's all there

No caution tape included

The art is cool, promise